Posts by Kimberly Holman

Primordial Wonder

The Three Peaks of Lavaredo

Stillness and silence open to luminous awareness. Therefore, cultivate both with generosity of heart and lightness of spirit. In this place, in this time, you are invited to taste the supple fruit. A garden opens in the stillness of your soul. A penetrating wisdom invites silence to imbue you with its primal grace. God, light, the essence of the Divine, is a never ending primordial wonder that you will taste and consume in the depths of your being. No wonder the world is confused, seeking ever outside itself for a small hint of certainty, something to make one secure and free. There is no certainty, no guarantee of security. Yet, in silence, you find comfort and peace. Despite these challenges, even in the face of daunting odds. Knowing nothing is certain. A deep breath of resilience nonetheless comforts in the open ended mystery of all that’s known and not known. That somehow is enough. At last, you are not resisting the flow, but diving in head first, alert and alive.

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Unified Wisdom

Seagull perched on rocks.

Within you there is a unified wisdom that transcends mental confusion. This wisdom, this knowing, is without origin. At no time did it suddenly come into being. Certainly you did not create, construct, or develop it. It’s simply here. It has always been here, within you, though hidden I’m afraid. It is paradoxically hidden yet present as your birthright and your heritage. This wisdom has been called a pearl of great price, and it will be revealed once you know where to look. For it is your own true essence, that part of yourself you seldom allow others to see, oddly enough. This wisdom sustains you. In truth, it sustains itself. It exists primordially in and of itself. That’s why it doesn’t depend on anything. That means you’re off the hook. You can drop the effort now. No need to push. No need to fight. Settle, rather, into effortlessness. Then, watch as it appears. Can you even stop it? I think not. Therefore, you don’t need to pretend as though you’re still in charge. You’re not, you know.

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A Seal of Uncertainty

Child in Wonder

As it stands, your understanding of the world is stamped by a seal of uncertainty. Underneath it all, there is only open, fluid space with endless potentiality. Little is known, exactly. You are not very comfortable with this, so you endeavor endlessly to formulate explanations with your impressive theories — trying to explain it all away, trying to make sense of it. Wearisome are the activities of your mind, the numerous attempts to ready yourself, meet each moment fully prepared. Yet your finest moments are seldom met with readiness are they? Periods of real growth are seldom precipitated by real knowledge. You don’t know what to make of the events at hand. You approach life one way. It wisely moves you another. If only you could relax inside the tenacity of it all. Then you might realize all is well. Then you could rest in the unpredictability, at peace and whole.

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Changes in the Light

Sunbeams Through Trees

The whole world keeps moving, inside and out. Allow that movement to occur. Flow with it. This is the key to well being. When you allow the ups and downs of experience to flow through you, like a river, you will be washed clean. So look directly at your inner experience. Be curious about it. Notice also the impulse to regulate your thoughts and emotions. Then, redirect that impulse with a gentle nudge. Invite yourself to experience the full range of experience instead. Play with it, see what you can tolerate, maybe even appreciate. You can always regulate again if it feels too hard. Life is all about falling in love with it and staying in that love. There’s only one way to do that. Don’t require it to meet your definitions. Definitions tend to get stale pretty quickly anyway. Life, on the other hand, is a vibrant ecstasy of ever changing wonder. So, drown in it. Remember what Jesus said. “I came that you may have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10) That’s what it’s all about – life, eternal life, everlasting life, ever evolving life. Ironically, the more you let go, the more it carries you. The more you feel, the more you are felt.

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