Reflections in the Cosmic Mirror

Primordial Wonder

By Kimberly Holman | May 14, 2018 | 0 Comments
The Three Peaks of Lavaredo

Stillness and silence open to luminous awareness. That is why we cultivate both with a generosity of heart and lightness of spirit. In this place, in this time, we are invited to taste the supple fruit. A garden opens in the stillness of our soul. A penetrating wisdom invites silence to imbue us with its primal grace. (more…)

Unified Wisdom

By Kimberly Holman | March 17, 2018 | 0 Comments
Seagull perched on rocks.

Within you there is a unified wisdom that transcends mental confusion. This wisdom, this knowing, is without origin. At no time did it suddenly come into being.

Certainly you did not create, construct, or develop it. It’s simply here. It has always been here, within you, though hidden I’m afraid. It is paradoxically hidden yet present as your birthright and your heritage.

This wisdom has been called a pearl of great price, and it will be revealed once you know where to look. For it is your own true essence, that part of yourself you seldom allow others to see, oddly enough.

This wisdom sustains you. It sustains itself. It exists primordially in and of itself. That’s why it doesn’t depend on anything.

So you’re off the hook. You can drop the effort now. No need to push. No need to fight. Settle, rather, into effortlessness. Then, watch as it appears. Can you even stop it? I think not.

Therefore, you don’t need to pretend as though you’re still in charge. You’re not, you know.

A Seal of Uncertainty

By Kimberly Holman | March 17, 2018 | 0 Comments
Child in Wonder

As it stands, your understanding of the world is stamped by a seal of uncertainty. Underneath it all, there is only open, fluid space with endless potentiality. Little is known, exactly.

You are not very comfortable with this, so you endeavor endlessly to formulate explanations with your impressive theories — trying to explain it all away, trying to make sense of it.

Wearisome are the activities of your mind, the numerous attempts to ready yourself, meet each moment fully prepared. Yet your finest moments are seldom met with readiness are they?

Periods of real growth are seldom precipitated by real knowledge. You don’t know what to make of the events at hand. You approach life one way. It wisely moves you in another direction. If only you could relax inside the tenacity of it all.

Then you might realize all is well. You could rest in the unpredictability of it all, at peace and whole.

Changes in the Light

By Kimberly Holman | February 20, 2018 | 0 Comments
Sunbeams Through Trees

What happens we meditate just to keep things on an even keel? In this post, I talk about opening to experience as it is without trying to control it. Sometimes it just takes a gentle nudge.

For me, spiritual practice is about being present to life as it unfolds moment by moment. This isn’t always easy, of course. What I often notice is a subtle impulse to regulate my inner world. That’s what I practice with.

I think this impulse is pretty normal. It’s like adjusting the temperature in a room. It gets too hot, I pop open a window. It gets too cold, I turn up the heat. Clearly, a part of me wants to maintain some level of comfort. There’s nothing wrong with that.

At the same time, this is precisely the way habitual patterns develop. What I notice is that I have kind of a knee jerk reaction to my inner experience whenever it gets a little messy. My impulse is to fix it, however I can.

This impulse to regulate our experience naturally transfers to our spiritual practice. When that happens, spirituality becomes just one more way to try to keep things on an even keel.

But if everyday practice is about being present to life as it unfolds, doesn’t this imply learning how to tolerate and even appreciate the subtle changes in the weather? I’m not necessarily talking about tsunamis, just the moment to moment changes in the light.

Each moment brings a small variation in experience. Cultivating an awareness of these small variations and developing the capacity to notice them leads to a willingness, and even desire, to allow life to just be as it is. What I have discovered is things are not always on an even keel, so it doesn’t make sense for me to try to make them so.

The whole world is moving, inside and out. I think that allowing that movement to occur, even flowing with it, is a key to cultivating health and well being. It seems that when I allow the ups and downs of my experience to flow through me like a river, I am washed clean.

All I’m really talking about is developing a new habit which begins with looking directly at my inner experience and being curious about it. What I notice first is the impulse to regulate my thoughts and emotions.

So I redirect that impulse with a gentle nudge and invite myself to experience the full range of my inner experience instead. Then I play with it, see what I can tolerate, possibly even appreciate. I also give myself full permission to regulate again if it feels too hard.

For me, it’s all about falling in love with life and staying in that love. I think the only way to do that is to stay completely open to the experience without requiring it to meet my definitions. Definitions tend to get stale pretty quickly, but life is a vibrant ecstasy of ever changing wonder.

I used to guard myself from the fullness of life. Now I want to drown in it.

I like what Jesus said. “I came that you may have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10) That’s what it’s all about – life, eternal life, everlasting life, ever evolving life. Ironically, the more I let go, the more it carries me. The more I feel, the more I am felt.